I was going to write something about fabrics today. But that changed.
I was speaking with a customer over the phone today and somewhere between discussing silk and colors, we found ourselves talking about something else entirely.
We started talking about Love.
One thing I've learned about myself while running Fabrics By The Captain's daughter is that people don't just buy fabrics.
Most times they end up gisting with me genuinely. They share facets of thier lives they wouldn't feel otherwise comfortable sharing with anyone else.
Sometimes it's their secrets or something they just want someone else's thoughts on.
The beauty of talking to someone who you instinctively know you can trust and that the conversation will not leave the room.
This time we were talking about how Love and how relationships used to be so different when we were much younger.
Back then, Love was better.
I know it sounds cliché, but honestly, love was better in our time.
Not perfect, but just better.
Maybe it was the fact that most people read romantic novels-Mills and Boon, Harlequin - girls and boys alike.
We read them, and we believed something real could happen to us.
So when we met someone… we didn’t hold back.
We didn’t strategize love.
We didn’t treat it like a struggle for survival or turn it into something transactional.
It wasn’t a competition of who could play it the coolest, or who could stay the most without calling. Ghosting never even crossed anyone's mind then.
We just… entered it.
With our feelings.
And a resolve to do our best.
And back then, what did we really have?
Almost nothing.
We didn't have much. No real money, no elaborate dates. No expectations that your dress or makeup would be paid for (we didn't even wear as much make up), or that he would cover your taxi or transport getting there.
But we took pleasure in the very little things.
I remember going on a date once, the guy hired a combi bus and we were sitting at the back like bus owners. Lol. I was like, what? Do you know what we could have done with all that money?
You would bring him food from home, or buy foodstuff on your way there, not because he asked, or because it was expected. You just did it because you wanted to.
Care was simple. You gave. They gave.
You both just shared the little you had, without calculating it, without attaching a repayment tag to it.
And he would take care of you in his own way.
A little money to buy Fanta or Coke or make your hair, or just-“Okay, this is all I have. Let me give you a quarter, and I’ll keep the rest.”
Without you asking.
Small, steady gestures that spoke volumes.
That meant he appreciated you being there.
That he valued having you to love and care for him.
Anyone looking from the outside could tell you both didn’t have much.
But the instinct was there, to show up for each other anyway.
That’s the difference between those days and today.
Nobody was saying, “If you don’t give me this, I’m not going out with you.”
Nobody made it like it was a do - or-die affair.
And nobody was comfortably sitting in love, giving nothing either.
Now… nobody really cares.
Everyone is asking for something upfront.
It’s sad how people are comfortable putting in almost no effort and calling it “protecting their peace.”
And in the middle of all that, something very tender, something very simple- disappeared.
That quiet instinct to care deeply about the other person.
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